Someday Lovely

*TRIGGER WARNING*
I'm Effy, I'm fourteen, and I'm currently in pursuit of beauty.
Height: 5'2
HW: 112
SW: 111
CW: 105 (6.14.12)
GW1: 106 . ACHIEVED. (6.2.12)
GW2: 101
GW3: 96
UGW: 91
*No pictures posted belong to me unless otherwise stated*

i’m so confused.

i just don’t know what to think/do/say anymore. i was doing so well with my fasting and exercising, and then one day i just ate for no particular reason.

that was three days ago. it suddenly hit me like a pile of rocks that i’m miserable. i want to recover, but by that i don’t mean i want to start eating again. i want to eat and not care. i don’t want to have the nutrition facts on every food memorized. i hate that i hate myself so much, but i hate myself more when i eat.

i’ve eaten between 500 and 1000 calories for the past few days and i feel AWFUL.

will someone PLEASSEEEE remind me of why i started losing weight in the first place, because i seem to have forgotten.

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